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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24747286">I Love You So Much I'm Gonna Explode!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivaciousBarkbeast/pseuds/vivaciousBarkbeast'>vivaciousBarkbeast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Sakamoto Ryuji, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Short One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:49:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24747286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivaciousBarkbeast/pseuds/vivaciousBarkbeast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Shido's palace, Akira has the scare of a lifetime.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Love You So Much I'm Gonna Explode!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“RYUJIII!” Akira felt his throat burn as he screamed his boyfriend’s name. He watched the explosion in terror. He couldn’t breathe. His eyesight started to blur, everything melting into itself. He watched his teammates all panicking. He felt a panic attack coming on but he didn’t have the energy or will to stop it. The distorsions of the ocean faded away and he and his team minus one sat on the sidewalk. He had to stay calm for them. He had to stay calm for them. He had to stay calm- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Morgana was the first to speak up after minutes of stunned silence. “What was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking</span>
  </em>
  <span>? That IDIOT-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He saved us all…” Ann said tearfully. She covered her mouth to stifle her oncoming sobs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira dug his fingernails into his legs and stood up, keeping his head down, hoping his bangs would cover his bleary eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh… What do we do now, leader?” Futaba looked up at Akira.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like screaming until his throat was raw. Clawing his skin until he was nothing but a bloody pulp. He was the leader. He was his </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He should’ve told him not to-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hoo!! Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, good. Akira could hear dead people now. That’s just what he needed. To be haunted forever by the voice of his dead lover and best friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RYUJI!” Ann yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh no, she can hear him too? Better break it to her that-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira looked up and saw Ryuji, smoking. Wait, smoking?? R..YUJI??</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yo! What’d I miss?...” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto quickly wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Ryuji, youre smoking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryuji looked over to Akira and Akira didnt think he could take looking him in the eye. Not now. Not with the others. He moved his head so fast he felt a cramp in his neck slowly growing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahaha… Well, y’know… Shouldnt really say that in front of ‘Kira. Not exactly polite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto smirked. “No, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> smoking. Your hair is on fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“F-FOR REAL??”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, let me put it out for you.” With a sudden fury in her eyes, Ann reeled back and punched Ryuji square in the jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira had to admit, that was a little satisfying to see. Until Haru, Futaba and Makoto joined Ann in her revenge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agh! ‘Kira! Help!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira grit his teeth and kept staring at nothing in particular. Yusuke wiped under his eyes and flicked the tears away dramatically then joined Akira. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you’re not joining them?” Akira asked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’d prefer not. My method of revenge would not be so tactless. I prefer the silent treatment until they beg for forgiveness.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira nodded, reminding himself to never piss off Yusuke. Or, well, never again he supposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ann huffed. “Okay, girls, I think that’s enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira put his shaking hands in his pockets and kept his voice cold, almost stony. “To Leblanc. Shall we?” Assuming there was no objection, he started walking back home. He heard footsteps following him and from a little behind he heard Ryuji grunt. In any other circumstance he’d help him up but Akira needed a few minutes to let his bloody rage cool into something more manageable. He felt a little extra weight suddenly on his shoulder and saw Morgana, eyebrows knit in the corner of his eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akira was the first to walk into the cafe and Sojiro stood up, putting a newspaper down. “Welcome back. I assume the mission was successful?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira nodded silently. He grabbed Ryuji’s hand and he made a little startled noise. He couldn’t help his icy glare now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Join me in the cafe, won’t you?” He whispered, hoping nobody else would hear but he supposed his team was used to his quiet demeanor outside of the Metaverse and heard him anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes. I could use a plate of Boss’ delicious curry-” Yusuke started but Akira didn’t have the patience right now. He could feel a breakdown in the back of his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>ALONE</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Akira couldn’t hold back his Joker-esque snap and grit his teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll keep ‘em occupied.” Sojiro was quick to understand the situation and ushered the rest of the group outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira let go of Ryuji’s hand and had him sit in one of the booths as he enforced an icy silence while he made curry, hoping that would calm him down. He would hate to scream at his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryuji occasionally tried speaking to him but he figured an icy silence was enough of a response for the moment. Not even the smell of the spicy curry could calm him down. He felt himself shaking. He made two plates and brought them to the booth. He sat down and started eating. Ryuji nervously did the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, ah… Letting me get beat up wasn’t the most romantic thing you’ve ever done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira gripped the spoon, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. There was no stopping it now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who do you think you are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- Me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you. You could’ve died- We all thought you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, haha, but I’m not, right? So… It’s cool, yeah?” Ryuji opened his mouth to stuff his face with curry. Akira grabbed his hand. He felt like his teeth were going to break under the pressure. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO, YOU IDIOT!” He shook his head, feeling the tears running free now and sobs crawling up his throat. “IT IS ANYTHING </span>
  <em>
    <span>BUT</span>
  </em>
  <span> COOL.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I risked my life to save you guys. Losin’ one guy’s better than losin’ all a us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But NOT YOU, DAMMIT! Do you have ANY idea how much we all care about you?! How DEVASTATED we were to think you were DEAD?! WHY DO YOU NEVER-” Akira’s voice finally broke and he started sobbing uncontrollably. He slammed the counter in anger that was fizzling out as despair settled in. Years of unexpressed anguish. All the times he forced himself to ‘stay cool’, all his composure was gushing out like a waterfall. He was hyperventilating. He felt his glasses fall from his face onto the counter but he didn’t care. He dug his nails into his scalp, the explosion playing in his head over and over and over again. Another sob squeaked its way out of his throat and he curled his legs into his chest. He suddenly felt the warmth of another person. He barely opened his eyes, seeing only blonde in his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Kira…” Ryuji barely whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira desperately grasped at his lover and Ryuji pulled him in, holding him tightly. “I’m- I’m sorry-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, I’m not. B-But I feel real bad. Seriously… I didn’t think… y’know… It’d matter that much. But, uh… Please, please don’t cry over me, man..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira couldn’t help it. “I can’t… I love you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akira felt Ryuji’s smile against his cheek. “Love you too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually his sobs subsided and he put his glasses back on, clearing his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soo…. Mind if I stay the night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you think I’m done?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I am still absolutely furious with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> stay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span>. In fact. I’m going to make sure you can’t move a fucking inch tomorrow morning. The anger’s gotta come out </span>
  <em>
    <span>somehow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Ryuji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eep.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
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